Open Letter to Family & Loved Ones:

Loving someone with addiction or substance abuse issues is a harrowing experience. The feelings of powerlessness and fear can be overwhelming. The truth is that addiction is a family illness that affects everyone close to the afflicted person. Whether it's broken promises, harsh words, absence from our lives or other difficulties, addiction and substance abuse isolates us from each other. 

One approach to treating addiction that is still widely used today is one of "tough love". Addicts are told by their families and loved ones that THEY are the problem and THEY need to fix it or risk being shunned. I have witnessed families drop their loved ones off at treatment or counseling with the expectation that the addict will go and get fixed then everything will be "back to normal". The glaring issue with this approach is that it often ignores the fact that addiction does not happen in a vacuum. There are family and social dynamics that all contribute to the situation. Whether we know it or not, as loved ones and family of addicts we all have a part to play in the success of any and all recovery efforts. From my personal and professional experience I can say that people in recovery tend to be much more successful when their loved ones are involved in the process than when they are not.

Is your spouse or family member struggling with addiction or substance abuse? Have you tried and tried to get them to see reason? Have all of your previous attempts at helping them straighten out their lives failed? Are you at the end of your patience with your loved one? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you're not alone. There are nearly 49,000,000 (~17%) people struggling with Substance Use Disorder in the USA. That means that addiction and substance abuse are problems that impact virtually every single person in the country in some form or fashion. The good news is there are things you can do to help yourself and your loved one. There is hope. There are actions you can take to find peace and healthy detachment from your loved one regardless if they enter recovery or not. 

Does your child seem out of control? Have all measures of discipline and punishment seemed to fail? Do you fear that your child's current actions will negatively impact their future? Have you felt a sense of not even knowing your teen anymore? Being a parent to a child struggling with substance abuse or addiction is absolutely terrifying; there's just no other way to put it. The typical rebellion of teenage years seems highly exacerbated by substance use. Often this leads to a wall of hostility being built brick-by-brick between us and our children as we try desperately to reign them in. The good news is that there are things you can do as a parent to help. As mentioned above, we will work together to better understand the family dynamics at play and how you can best support your teen and yourself. We will work to transform the situation from 'us and them' to a strong family team committed to change.